Scott A. Carlson

“Toughen Up” (Part 2)

(“Toughen Up” is a six-part series on how to get strong in the faith. Each article is a similar version of a sermon I shared with The Refuge at our Sunday morning gatherings. You can watch the sermon on our YouTube channel.)

Back in the 1950’s there was an advertisement campaign targeted toward men about getting tougher and stronger. These ads appeared in magazines and comic books with a picture of a bully kicking sand into the face of a man on the beach with his girlfriend looking on. Now, some 70 years later, we still have bullies. I’m not talking about the physical or the emotional type that people face today. I am talking about the chief bully himself, Satan, and his tactics to intimidate Christians from not being strong and tough in the faith.

Last week we talked about how to grow strong in the faith by not getting easily offended. In this article I want to encourage you to get tough about sharing your faith.

When I was in 7^th grade, our church’s youth group traveled to Six Flags over Texas. I had never been to a large amusement park, so I was excited about riding all the rides and seeing all the sights. Right before we entered the park, our youth Pastor gave everyone five gospel tracts with the instructions of handing them to complete strangers as each of us gave a gospel presentation. I was not too thrilled about the assignment. If anything, I was put off by his request. I just wanted to ride the rides.

I remember waiting till the last hour before we had to return to the bus to fulfill my requirement. The way I remember it, I handed one tract to this elderly gentleman without exchanging a word and deposited the other four tracts in the men’ bathroom. (I figured someone might need some reading material when they did their business.) All that to say, I was greatly intimidated to share my faith back then. Come to think about it, I didn’t even have a faith in the 7^th grade.

A lot has changed since those days in the mid 70’s. Today, I have a faith that continues to grow as I walk in Christ. But to be completely transparent, I still get intimidated at times to share my faith. Why? Don’t get me wrong. Sharing my faith energizes me when I do it. It’s one of my greatest privileges as a follower of Jesus. But I still get nervous when preparing to share the gospel with individuals. Is this normal? Am I just a weak Christian? Or is there something else in play?

You see, in my deepest core, I want people to like me. I like the idea of people liking me. So, to put myself in the position of someone rejecting me or belittling me does something to my psyche.

On the other hand, I want people more than anything to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I don’t want people to spend an eternity in a devil’s hell. And on top of that, I know what transformation through a relationship with Jesus Christ can do in a person’s life and I desire everyone to have the same experience I had back in 1979. All that to say, there is a real conflict that goes on inside of me.

In the next few paragraphs, I want to share with you the Why, Who, When, and How of sharing the good news of the gospel of Jesus:

1. Why share the gospel?

For starters, we need to know what the gospel is. The word gospel literally means, “Good News!” The gospel is the good news story of what Jesus did for us. He came to earth, lived a perfect life, died on the cross for our sin, was buried, and on the third day came back to life. And if we will turn from our sin and life of brokenness, confess Him as our Savior and Lord,  surrender our lives to Him and make Him our King, then He will enter our lives, forgive us, transform us, guide us in this life, and secure a place in Heaven for us to be with Him for eternity.

So why share the gospel?

• First, because the Bible commands us to do so. In Matthew 4, Jesus told us to follow Him and He would make us fishers of men. Throughout the first four books of the New Testament Jesus told us we need to follow His lead by taking the gospel with us and to share it with anyone and everyone who would listen.
• And second, because people need the Lord. Every man, woman and child has a sin problem and needs to be rescued. The good news is that this is the very reason Jesus came. It is the Good News of the Gospel story.

2. Who is to share the gospel and who is the gospel to be shared with?

This is an easy answer. You and I are to share the gospel. And we are to share the gospel with anyone who will listen. Matthew 28:19 and Acts 1:8 tells us that every follower of Jesus Christ is to go here, there, and everywhere, and share the gospel of Jesus with anyone and everyone who will listen.

Several years ago, I had a conversation with two believers that helped shape my life. One of my friends shared with the two of us a prayer he prayed every morning. “Lord, I pray that today you would reveal to me who I need to share the gospel with.” This was a great prayer I thought. I need to do the same. That was, until I heard what the other guy’s prayer was. He said, “I pray something different. Every morning when I get up I ask the Lord to reveal to me who I am not to share the gospel with.” Wow. That really shook me.

You see, every person that you and I come in contact with are people that need some form of gospel story. A few years after that conversation, I committed that every conversation I had with people would have one of two elements of the gospel. If I was talking to someone who claimed to be a believer, I would encourage him/her toward a life of discipleship. If I was talking to someone who was lost or if I was unsure of their salvation, I would point them to the cross.

Why? Paul asks us in Romans 10:14, “How can people have faith in the Lord and ask him to save them, if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear, unless someone tells them? Romans 10:14 (CEV)

 Our job is to be His spokesman, His ambassador to the world, sharing the good news, the gospel, with our families, our neighbors, those we work with, our schoolmates, and everyone we encounter.

I encourage our people to carry in their Bible, purse, or wallet, a 3×5 index card where they can write down names of every person they know who is either lost or unchurched. This index card becomes a personal prayer list of people they are to pray for. The list is meant to grow as you come into contact with people you meet and are unsure of their spiritual condition. My list started out with two people a year ago and now it has over 50 people. And it is still growing. It includes friends, neighbors, relatives, people I meet out in public or on social media, and on and on. This index card also serves as a personal prospect list of people I am inviting to one of our weekly gatherings as a church, but also of people I desire to sit down and share the gospel with. It represents people that I believe God has brought into my life that I am to invest in. Where I desire to share the gospel with them, I also desire to befriend them the way Jesus has befriended me. They are people, not projects. Meaning if they reject the gospel, I am going to continue to be friends with them with the ultimate goal of reaching them with the gospel. Why? Because I love them and care for them. Way too often I see so called “Christians” simply dismiss certain people because they are not like them. My Jesus pursued people. I desire to do the same.

3. When are we supposed to share the gospel?

Again, this is an easy one. In Matthew 28:19, Jesus gives us, “The Great Commission.” He starts off by saying, “Go into all the world making disciples.” In the original Greek the word “go” literally means “as you go.” This means as you go through life, we should always be sharing the gospel story. As you go through school, as you travel, as you go through your workday, as you go to the ball-fields, as you go…anytime, anywhere, all the time! Make sense???

Paul told Timothy that he was to always be ready, in season and out of season, to teach, preach, and share the word of God with people. We should do the same! When should we share the gospel? The answer is, “At every opportunity.”

4. How are you to share the gospel?

On March 8^th during The Refuge’s weekly gathering, I shared a simple tool called “The Three Circles.” (Feel free to watch the presentation on our YouTube channel.) There are many gospel presentations out there. Many of them are good. It really comes down to your personal preference. Just make certain you include the major points of the gospel story as you share your faith. This would include: God’s original plan, man’s fall into sin, God’s solution to redeem man, and man’s response to God’s invitation.

There have been many times I have shared the gospel with people where I felt like I blew it, had forgotten something, or messed up the presentation. But at the end of the day I shared my faith. It is during those times you have to depend on the Holy Spirit to fill the gaps, correct anything you said wrong, and draw the person to Himself. We learn from every gospel presentation we make.

Bottom line, we need to share the good news of Jesus’ story with people. It is not enough just to live a good life in front of them. It must be motivated by the love we have received from God and the love we have for the people we share it with.

Pick a plan or a presentation you are comfortable with. Practice it over and over. Practice it in front of the mirror. Practice it by yourself. Practice it with a loved one. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become doing it. Make yourself available to the Lord and you will find yourself in conversation after conversation about the goodness of God’s love.

I want to close with three quotes that have impressed me to take on personal responsibility in sharing my faith with others:

 “If not me, then who? If not now, then when?” -unknown, everyone

 “Christianity is just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.” – D. T. Niles

 “The Holy Spirit can’t save saints or seats. If we don’t know any non-Christians, how can we introduce them to the Savior?” -Paul Little

Are you available to be used by God in the lives of the lost and the unchurched? Are you actively pursuing people as Jesus pursued you? Do you have non-Christian friends you are praying for and befriending?

Ask the Lord to deepen your heart for the lost. Stay close to His side and ask Him to burden you in the areas that burden Him. Wake up each morning and ask, “Who, Lord, do you not want me to share with today?” Then, go live that life that God wants you to live!

Until the whole world hears,

Pastor Scott

Toughen Up – Part 1  

Are you easily offended?

One of the things that Americans love to take pride in is, “strength.” We love the underdog and admire comeback stories. We idolize people like Bruce Lee, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger and even…Chuck Norris. There are hundreds of Chuck Norris jokes that talk about toughness.

Even in the church, we admire people who have overcome addictions and faults to rise above where they have come from. We admire leaders who have strong work ethics, and who have had material success in the marketplace. We value people who seem to rise above the rest of us who struggle with everyday problems.

The apostle Paul, maybe the greatest and most successful Christians who ever walked on earth, said puzzling things like, “I am the worst of all sinners,” and “If I have to brag, I will brag on those things that show I am weak.” Why would such a strong believer admit his shortcomings? He knew that admitting such things gave an invitation to the Lord of Strength to enter his situation and reveal where true strength comes from.

Over the course of the next 6 weeks, I will introduce you to specific areas that believers need to strengthen in their lives. Today’s topic comes in the area of being offended.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that we live in the era of people’s feelings getting hurt. Even my 6-year-old grandson says to me, “Popo, you hurt my feelings.” Getting offended seems easy today.  Jesus forewarned us in Matthew 24:10 that in the last days people would take offense and betray and hate one another. If there was ever a time in our history when this was true, it is today. As a rule, there are four ways people get offended. People get offended at what others say to them, don’t say to them, do to them, or don’t do to them.

I would like to make two main points when it comes to getting offended and what that means to the Christian.

I. The Consequences of getting offended.

Jesus said in Luke 17:1 that “Offenses will certainly come.”  The word “offense” is also translated “stumbling block” and comes from the Greek word that we get the word, “scandal” from. Originally, this word would describe a small piece of wood used to prop up an animal trap, and once an animal went inside to get the bait, it would trip the wood and the animal would become entrapped.

When we allow ourselves to become offended, we too become entrapped by Satan’s snare. He knows if he can make us defensive, we will take our eyes off of the prize of our mission and get sidetracked. You can’t passionately pursue the things of God and at the same time attempt to please the flesh by focusing on your wounds and pain caused by others.

What are some of the results of being offended? We focus on our wounds and become separated from community. We become isolated. We feel the need to vindicate ourselves, build coalitions against the ones who hurt us, and we make life about us.

I recently came back from overseas and remember seeing how they controlled elephants. Elephants are one of the most powerful creatures on earth. They grow between 5,000 to 14,000 pounds. And yet, they are controlled by a tiny chain wrapped around their foot with a small stake in the ground. Why does such a small thing keep them from moving?  Because when they were babies, the chain seemed stronger and was sufficient. You get where I am going with this?

We too, at an early age, discovered that telling people our feelings were hurt seemed to get them to change. And now that we are older, we are no better equipped to handle getting offended as we were back then.

But it shouldn’t be this way. As Paul told us in 1 Corinthians 13 that we act a certain way when we are children, but there comes a time we need to act more like an adult. And this is true when it comes to getting offended.

I believe this is why Jesus said in John 16:1, “I have told you these things to keep you from stumbling.”  The word stumbling is the same Greek word that is translated, “offence” of where we get the word… scandal…yes, the same word we talked about before.

Jesus doesn’t want us to fall for the trap of getting offended so easily.  So, what do we do? I am so glad you asked.

II. The Correct Response when getting offended.

I see three major things that will help us to respond correctly when we get offended.

    A. Expect it. It’s going to happen. No one is immune to getting offended. It happens to the best of us. So instead of striving for perfection…which is impossible in this life, the best we can do is  to become less offendable.  Just about every great boxer has been asked, “What is the most dangerous punch you have to defend.” And most boxers reply with, “The one you don’t see coming.” Peter warned us in 1 Peter 4:2, “Do not be surprised when attacks come our way as if something strange was happening to us.” In other words, prepare for it, expect it. When you know something is coming, you stand a much better chance of defense than you would when it comes out of nowhere.

    B. Confront or Drop it!! Jesus told us in Matthew 18 that if a brother sins against you, and that would include someone who offends you, that we should confront them out of love. If they listen  to you, you’ve gained a brother. If not, he gives other steps you can do. Bottom line, one of the lost arts we have stopped practicing in the church is lovingly approaching the very person who sinned against us and hurt us. Instead, we go to other people, the Pastor, or even worse, we build up resentment that causes bitterness to take root in our heart against the brother or  sister. This is so unhealthy. James 4:17 tells us that the one who knows the right thing to do and doesn’t do it, sins. Of course, confronting someone because they hurt your feelings comes  with risks. You might discover they did something to you to respond to something you did to them. You might discover that you completely misread what they said which could bring embarrassment to yourself. Or, they might just double down and bring more hurt feelings your way. So, make sure you are following what the Lord would have you do. But it’s always better to do something biblical, for the right reason than to seek your own justice or even sulk about something that will only cause you to become bitter. The other option is to drop it. Just like Jesus on the cross looked down upon us and said to His Father in Heaven, “Forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.”  Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools God  gives us in our spiritual tool chest. Forgiveness is not easy, but one should always consider how much God has forgiven him/her for the things he/she did or didn’t do, said, or didn’t say. We forgive others because God first forgave us. One of the areas that help me to forgive is for me to see people through the eyes of God and to love others through the heart of God. We are to  simply be a conduit from God to others, which helps us to keep everything in perspective.

C. Finally, I would offer some practical steps to take that help us to become less offended in life. Here are just a few.

1. Before you react, listen. James tell us in James 3:18, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”  Maybe if we listened twice as much before we talk, we would get less offended. Listening gives us time to control our tongue and our anger. Listening helps us understand what people are trying to communicate.
2. Ask the Lord to help you grow the fruit of the spirit by replacing them with the deeds of the flesh as recorded in Ephesians 5. This would be a great study.
3. Remember that often times, the very people who hurt our feelings never intended to hurt our feelings to begin with. They might have been having a bad day and it simply came across wrong. You might discover the reason the person reacted badly to you was because of something you did to them first. Now this does not give them permission to run you over, however, your focus should always be about restoring a relationship rather than getting your point across.
4. Make certain you are living your life under the Word of God. This means by regularly practicing forgiveness, not taking offense, and making certain that nothing is stopping you from keeping your eyes on the path of God’s call on your life.

Remember, that getting offended is Satan’s way to get you off track of loving God and people with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength! After all, it should all be about Him!

Until the whole world hears,

Pastor Scott

Why I started The Refuge!

Ever since I announced, over a year ago, that I was going to start a new church called, “The Refuge” I have been asked, “Why?”

The short answer is simple.  I believe the Lord has called me to do so.

The longer answer is also simple, just a little more detailed.

First, let me say that I love the Church. And what do I mean by “The Church?” I mean the Bride of Christ, The Body of Jesus, The family of God, The Hands and Feet of our Lord.

In Matthew 16 Jesus said, “I will build my church.” The Church is composed of all those who have given their lives and hearts (both past and present) to serve, learn, and follow Jesus as His own personal disciples.  I believe in the “Big C,” the universal church, but I also believe in the “small c” …the local church. Ever since I became a follower of Jesus Christ, I have loved the body of Christ. The older men became my fathers, the older women became my mothers, and everyone else became my brothers, sisters, sons and daughters.  They are my family. As imperfect as the church is, my love for God’s people grows more and more every day.  Just like my personal family is far from perfect, (please don’t tell them I said this) so is my church family. But hey…Family is Family.  And family sticks together through the good and bad. Plus, The Church is God’s instrument that He has chosen to spread the news of his glorious gospel to the world. And if God is for His church…I am on board too.

Why choose the name, “Refuge”?  I find the word nearly 50 times in the Bible, and the image of The Refuge is found from cover to cover. I see Jesus as my Rock, My fortress, My protector, and My Refuge. The name has always seemed right to me when thinking of a name for the new church.

So, getting back to my more detailed answer to why start a new church.

1. Our population is going up and church attendance is going down…especially here in America. I won’t share all the statistics, though I could. Record number of churches are closing their doors for the final time every year and our country is getting more secular by the moment. We are simply going in the wrong direction.
2. I believe church planting is one of two ways we can reverse this direction…if it is possible at all. (The other way is Church Revitalization) The American church is becoming the church in Europe.
3. I wanted to create a church for people like me. Yea me. I have battled with depression and anxiety and other things ever since childhood. I saw things and experienced things kids aren’t supposed to see and experience. Unfortunately, I am far from being the only one with these experiences.  There are boat loads of people with similar stories and often times worse stories, including many who are reading this very blog.

My depression got so bad a couple of years ago that it cost me my ministry. As a result, I was faced with a difficult choice at a difficult crossroad. Not to bore you, but I will cut quick to the chase. I came to the discovery and conclusion that God wanted me to start this new church… for people like me…the broken, the hurting, the struggling. You might say, but Scott, isn’t that all of us?  Bingo…and I’m not talking about the dog.  Yes, that is all of us.

But instead of slowly getting back in an established church with all of her traditions, not all bad, I concluded that it would be the best stewardship of the time I have left…I’m 57, to start something new with a new score card, a new way to determine whether we are doing what is right and best, not according to man’s standards, but God’s standards. Again, I could go into much more detail, and I am willing to for anyone who wants to listen, but bottom line, I made the decision to be a part of starting this new church.

So, who is the Refuge?  We are a community of hurting people bringing hope to hurting people through Jesus.  What is our purpose? To bring hope to hurting people through Jesus.

I plan on writing one to two new blogs every week. One will have something to do with the sermon I just preached and the other about things that I think are pertinent about life.

Many will be short, and others might ramble on.  We will see.

Feel free to subscribe to this blog. Feel free to comment, whether you agree or disagree. As long as it is not vulgar or divisive, I will approve all posts…at least that is my goal right now. 😊 Or you can always contact me at my email.  It is Scott@TheRefugeOwasso.com

I am a Pastor who still struggles with things that try to take me down the rabbit hole. But the blessed Holy Spirit who resides in me will not let me quit.  I look forward to the day that Jesus returns and takes away my struggles and gives me a new body.  But until then, you will find me in the trenches, helping my fellow strugglers stand back up to fight another day.  And in the meantime, discover God’s peace that passes all understanding. Jesus is my peace and He is my Refuge!

Until the whole world hears,

Scott Carlson